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Lesson 2: How Trauma Affects Behaviors and Relationships | Bessel van der Kolk

Big Think, 4 min, NaN views, Mar 18, 2026

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Ever experienced one of those out-of-body moments when you feel yourself reacting in an overblown or unnecessarily irritated way, but you just … can’t … control it? Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Bessel van der Kolk says this is especially common for trauma survivors, many of whom end up feeling further ashamed as a result, even if they have a level of self-awareness about their emotional responses. In this video lesson, van der Kolk explores the negative impact such automatic, hyperreactive behaviors and trauma-stunted emotional intelligence can have on survivors and their relationships. © Freethink Media Inc., All Rights Reserved. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go Deeper with Big Think: ►Become a Big Think Youtube Member Get exclusive classes and early, ad-free access to new releases without leaving Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/@bigthink/membership/ ►Become a Big Think Web Member Get the entire Big Think Class library, premium print issues, live events, and more. https://bigthink.com/membership/ ►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack Get all of your favorite Big Think content delivered to your inbox. https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/ ►Listen to Big Think Interviews on Spotify Insights from the world's biggest thinkers, now as a podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/7KRYoRD1NdF2aoQcBMyPlb ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Bessel van der Kolk: Bessel van der Kolk MD spends his career studying how children and adults adapt to traumatic experiences and has translated emerging findings from neuroscience and attachment research to develop and study a range of treatments for traumatic stress in children and adults.