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Lesson 4: Take a 4-Step Approach to Reconciliation | Dan Shapiro

Big Think, 8 min, NaN views, Jul 23, 2026

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Desmond Tutu, chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, once wrote, “True reconciliation is based on forgiveness, and forgiveness is based on true confession, and confession is based on penitence, on contrition, on sorrow for what you have done.” In other words, the process of reconciliation cannot be achieved when offenders try to paper over the pain that has been caused. In this video lesson, negotiation expert Dan Shapiro provides steps for navigating reconciliation and includes ideas for how to rebuild relationships in the process. © Freethink Media Inc., All Rights Reserved. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go Deeper with Big Think: ►Become a Big Think Youtube Member Get exclusive classes and early, ad-free access to new releases without leaving Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/@bigthink/membership/ ►Become a Big Think Web Member Get the entire Big Think Class library, premium print issues, live events, and more. https://bigthink.com/membership/ ►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack Get all of your favorite Big Think content delivered to your inbox. https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/ ►Listen to Big Think Interviews on Spotify Insights from the world's biggest thinkers, now as a podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/7KRYoRD1NdF2aoQcBMyPlb ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Dan Shapiro: The founder and director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program, Daniel Shapiro teaches a highly evaluated course on negotiation at Harvard College; instructs psychology interns at Harvard Medical School/McLean Hospital; and leads executive education sessions at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, Harvard Kennedy School, and Harvard Medical School/McLean Hospital. He also has served on the faculty at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, Tufts University, and at the Sloan School of Management at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He is author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, which Matthew Bishop of the Economist Group called “quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict.” He also is coauthor with Roger Fisher of the negotiation classic “Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate.”